Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Headaches



I have a LOT of headaches. One of them is happening right now. I'm not really sure what to do about it. I pray, take drugs, exercise, take naps, don't take naps, they get a little better, they get a lot worse, I don't understand. It sucks. They aren't migraines, they just feel like my skull is too small for everything in it. Sometimes I think how very easy it would be for me to become one of the millions addicted to prescription drugs, or non prescription drugs for that matter, or alcohol, or anything that would make me feel better.

So what do I do? Sometimes I get really mean and cynical. Mostly to my self and to my wife. It's my secret, but I'm telling. That does not help, but for some stupid reason I keep trying it -as if one day that will actually make something better. I avoid the very things that I have always said are the most important things in life, relationships. I don't return calls or emails unless they are absolutely necessary, and sometimes I even avoid those.

I've been to several Doc's, healing services, and gotten massages, but they've never completely gone away. It makes me so depressed. But when I start feeling too sorry for myself, I always think of something my Papaw Harold used to say. "You can always look around and find somebody "worse off" than you." I know I have shared that same quote before, but so far it is one of the best remedies I know for the droopy drawers brain that I am so prone to.

Do I lose my faith? A little every now and then. Somehow, thankfully, the Lord has bestowed enough faith on me to carry me through the times when I'm just thoroughly pissed off at everybody about everything.

Right now Nicole C. Mullen's voice is ringing in my ears singing "I know my redeemer lives." He lives. He is real. He changes my life daily. I do not have the power to do it on my own. Anything that you find encouraging about this blog can be attributed to our risen Savior.

If you have never encountered the one I am speaking of, come to Christ Church on Sunday morning. He is there. I know He's everywhere, but his Kingdom is so evident there. It is UN-deniable! From the music, to the testimonies, to the people you encounter in the parking lot, it's the real thing. And I am so thankful to be a part. Hey, my head feels better. I'm serious!

So right now, I must conclude that those headaches are there for a reason. I sure would like to learn whatever that reason is so I can get on to the next thing, but until then, I'm doing the best I can and trying to have a little grace and patience along the way.

The photos are from a weekend excursion to the Strawberry Festival in Portland, TN. You can see Ginny inspecting the torrential rain at the top, and the happy ending at the bottom, a little girl who decided to make the best of it.

1 comment:

Stacey Old :) said...

Great post Stacy!

Just a word on headaches. . .I have similar headaches and had been diagnosed with every thing from tension headaches to migraines to being a hypochondriac! But finally I had a doctor tell me to go to chiropractor. It ended up being the alignment of my neck! After going for a while, I hardly have any headaches. If I do, I go a couple of times and all is better. Just a thought!